
Crisis & Local Resources
You can find an overview of where to find urgent help here
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Mental Health Rapid Response Service - Brighton and Hove’s NHS 24/7 urgent response service for anyone in a mental health crisis and feeling at risk of harming themselves or others (0300 304 0078)
Samaritans - national 24/7 listening and emotional support service (116 123)
Stay Alive - app for those at risk of suicide or supporting someone else who might be
Mind Out - Brighton’s mental health support service for LGBTQ+ people, including advice and information, advocacy, peer support groups and mentoring
Survivors' Network – support for survivors of sexual violence in Sussex
Rise - support for survivors of domestic abuse in East Sussex, including practical and emotional support
Change Grow Live – Drug and alcohol use support service for people in Brighton and Hove
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Sex Worker Outreach Project - advice and support for sex workers in Sussex
Relaxation and Grounding Exercises
Relaxing your body and breathing fully can help you out of a fight/flight/freeze response and activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which will allow you to better tolerate distressing feelings. Try one of the exercises in this link to practice relaxing.
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Grounding yourself using your senses can help you come back to your body and the present moment when you're feeling anxious, disassociated or in a trauma flashback. Try out the sensory techniques in this link to focus and ground yourself.
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Worksheets
Sometimes I use worksheets in sessions to support clients to identify and examine thoughts and feelings - below you can find downloadable copies of these.
Feelings Wheel - for help with identifying feelings
Thought Record – for recording thoughts and feelings
Socratic Questions – for challenging negative thoughts
Decatastrophising – for challenging catastrophic thoughts
Cognitive Distortions – for identifying unhelpful thinking patterns
Tolerating Uncertainty - for practising being with not knowing
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Books, Zines, Podcasts etc.
Here you’ll find a list of books and other resources that I've found useful for thinking about relationships, sex, trauma, mental health etc.
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Healing Sex: A Mind-body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma by Staci Haines – a really useful workbook for exploring sexuality after trauma and managing triggers around sex
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Needing to Know for Sure: A CBT-Based Guide to Overcoming Compulsive Checking and Reassurance Seeking by Martin N Seif and Sally M Winston – a practical guide for understanding and managing uncertainty-based anxiety
Just Eat It: How Intuitive Eating Can Help You Get Your Shit Together Around Food by Laura Thomas – a book exploring alternatives to dieting and ways to shift your thinking around food and weight
Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby's Brain by Sue Gerhardt – a great book for understanding the impact of early childhood on later life
Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence by Judith Lewis Herman – one of the first books to discuss trauma in the context of abuse and interpersonal relationships
Rewriting the Rules: An Anti Self-Help Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships by Meg-John Barker – this book unpacks and challenges lots of commonly held ideas about sex and relationships to help you decide if they are right for you
Life Isn't Binary: On Being Both, Beyond, and In-Between by Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker – this book questions our tendency to look at things in binary terms, so is really useful for anyone that tends towards black/white or all/nothing thinking
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How to Understand Your Gender: A Practical Guide for Exploring Who You Are by Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker – an easy, comprehensive guide to exploring gender identity
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Enjoy Sex (How, When and If You Want To): A Practical and Inclusive Guide by Meg-John Barker and Justin Hancock – a brilliant book for reflecting on your relationship to sex
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What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety by Jaclyn Friedman – a workbook for exploring sexuality aimed at teenage girls but useful for all ages and genders
Ecstasy is Necessary: A Practical Guide by Barbara Carrellas – a great introduction to embodiment and connecting with your sexual, sensual and joyful self
The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert – this book explores the benefits of self-compassion and kindness for mental health
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Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price - a look into the ideas of laziness and productivity and how these can affect our minds and bodies
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Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Non-Monogamy by Jessica Fern - this is a easy to understand introduction to theories of how our learned patterns of attaching to other people can affect our relationships, with a focus on building emotional security in non-monogamous relationships
Clementine Morrigan’s Trauma-Informed Polyamory workshop - this downloadable workshop explores how we manage distress in relationships. While its focused on people in polyamorous relationships I think it could be useful for people in all kinds of relationships
Captain Awkward - An advice column that often discusses creating and maintaining boundaries, including practical scripts for doing this with partners, friends and family
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Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse - A compassionate, trauma-informed advice column by therapist and writer Kai Cheng Thom answering questions about relationships, especially within queer communities
Meg-John & Justin - an interesting podcast about sex, relationships and mental health with a sex educator and a psychologist, plus useful zines to help you think about and communicate what you want in sex and relationships
Rewriting the Rules - zines on mental health topics